Tips from a lawyer

There once was a little boy named Billy, and Billy wanted a BB gun. He prayed each night, on his knees, at the foot of his bed to all the gods out there, that one day he may receive such a gift. On his birthday, his friends decided that they would make little Billy’s (or not so little Billy as case may be now that he’s an “adult” in his late twenties) dream come true. They all pitched in and bought him the most glorious BB gun money can buy.

At little Billy’s birthday party in Calgary, they presented him with his new gift and he was blown away. He sobbed and sobbed until he could cry no more and said “let’s get this sissy party started!”. His friends cheered and they toasted to the birthday boy with a 60 of Jack Daniels that was bought for $2 at a Mad Hatter’s tea party.

Toonie Toss Trouble

As the party went into the night, these boys came up with something that may fright. A game! A game, indeed. Not for the faint at heart, or with much logic. It’s something out of the books of Robin Hood and the legendary dare-devils; shoot an apple off your head and pray you don’t end up dead.

The boys took turns testing their wit; bang! bang bang BANG! Or is it p-tew! p-tew! Either way, you have a plate in front of your face, an apple on your head and a BB gun being shot at you. The game was a great success until there was one man down. Blood. So much blood coming from his beautiful head. The bullet grazed his scalp and left the poor man bleeding. They patched him up and kept the party going. Cake! Let them eat cake!

Days went by and as the swelling went down and the scab started to heal, the boy felt the top of his head and was sure there was something in it. After pondering whether or not to cut his own head open, he decided to leave it up to the professionals and went to visit the good doctor.

“My boy, what did you do?” said the doctor.

“Hunting accident.” said the boy.

The doctor gave him a rather confused look and said “Oh? Were you trying to hunt rodents with a BB?”

“No, apples.” He bashfully admitted.

The doctor didn’t even want to get into it with him – “No sense asking a silly questions, so let’s just get this thing out. Nurse, scalpel.”

After a snip and a stitch, out popped this little gem.

Your Honour, exhibit A

This week’s Tip From a Lawyer: If you have a foreign object shot into your head, make a necklace. It goes along with the old saying: If someone gives you lemons, make lemonade.


One thought on “Tips from a lawyer

  1. i missed that part of the party, lucky me!
    statement: guns are bad.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s