Shit my dad says

In the last year my dad bought his first iPhone. Whether or not he knew how to use it for the longest time is another story. Recently, he has learned how to text and quite often sends me texts at 5:50am (7:50am his time) saying “What are you up to kiddo?” Well, truth be told…I’m sleeping. I find it incredibly endearing that he sends them, even at such an ungodly hour.

One day, I randomly got a text and it was just a blurred image of his face.

Look at me, I'm Simone

He later told me he was doing a Simone picture. Exhibit A

Pucker up, big boy!

I recently had strange skin irriation which ended up looking like a bug bite. Whenever an ailment occurs, he’s my go-to man; Doctor Dad comes in handy. So, I sent him a picture of said irritation on my arm and wrote “Cancer?”. No answer. Text again “Dad, I have a two week old tumor and I’ve named it Bubba.” His response “Lol”. Yes, he said L-O-L. That’s cause for an lol in itself. He continued and said “Could be an extra nipple” then “Probably cutaneous. Anthrax.” I love him and he loves my jovial hypochondria.

The most recent amusing text occurred today. He was supposed to call and didn’t, so I sent him a text last night saying “Did that phone call get hijacked by a carrier pigeon?”  Today I got this response “No, but I’m stuck up a tree”

Hunting for Wild Boar in the Dirrrty South.

He is funny. I love him.


There are some things that are not appropriate

When on the Canada Line, please don’t floss your teeth. That’s what your bathroom is for, in the privacy of your own home. The rest of the world does not want the contents of your teeth being flicked onto seat in front of you.

Cleanliness is next to godliness

What are things in public you have seen that shouldn’t happen?

It’s a double rainbow…all the way across the sky!

For those of you that have seen this, the following image will evoke nostalgia.

Now, I’m not entirely sure what he was smoking, eating, drinking or even what meditative state he was in, but he was loving that rainbow.

Well, here in Vancouver the other day, we had our own double rainbow that went all the way across the sky. This picture doesn’t do it justice, but it’ll do.

No one steals me lucky charms!

Mum, remember when you used to get us Lucky Charms for breakfast? She would never buy us chips or fun lunch snacks, but the woman would buy us sugary cereal for breakfast once in a while. Logic…where are you?


Oh, hi!

Me too. I know, I’ve missed you too. It’s just… It’s just that it’s been really busy lately. No, I…No. No, it’s not like that. I haven’t been avoiding you. Pardon? You what? Oooohhh…okay, gotcha. Well, in any case…we’re talking now. Let’s do tea. Sunday? Yeah, sure. That’s great. Okay, see you soon. Okay okay okay. Buh bye.

We’re back.